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If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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The following statement is true.
The previous statement is false.
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I passed a shop window the other day – it was full of essential oils.
I don’t have any of them. I’m lucky to be alive!
~ Ardal O’Hanlon
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Read more of the Top things the Irish would never say
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A dazed man went to his doctor, desperate to end his confusion. Tell me what’s wrong, said the doctor.
“Well, it started when I got married to a widow with a grown daughter. My father fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter and married her – so my stepdaughter became my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was my father’s brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is my father’s wife. So when my stepdaughter married my father, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle.
My wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother’s mother. Also my stepmother is my stepdaughter, and I am my wife’s grandson. Since I’m married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife’s grandson and her husband, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand why I’m confused?”
The doctor looking totally confused replied: “Happy families!”
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Remember… if you can’t convince them, confuse them.
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