* * *
Halloween was confusing.
All my life my parents said: “Never take candy from strangers.”
And then they dressed me up and said: “Go beg for it.”
I didn’t know what to do.
I’d knock on people’s doors and go: “Trick or treat… no thank you.”
~ Rita Rudner
* * *
* * *
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
* * *
Pat: “What is Dracula’s favourite circus act?”
Mike: “Tell me.”
Pat: “He always goes for the juggler!”
* * *
* * *
What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
* * *
Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.
* * *
* * *
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body home?
* * *
Two monsters went to a party. One said, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
* * *
* * *
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A sour-puss
* * *
Pat: “What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit?”
Mike: “I have no idea.”
Pat: “A necktarine!”
* * *
* * *
What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
Scarespray!
* * *
When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
* * *
* * *
What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
* * *
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body!
* * *
* * *
What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.
* * *
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin goblin.
* * *
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